It’s Been Tough to Hold Things Together Lately

Everyone’s talking about how ‘things are looking better’ and I just feel like a fraud because I can’t feel it

Eileen Wiedbrauk


Photo by Alex Alvarez on Unsplash

It’s been so hard to hold things together lately.

Let’s just take a moment and feel that: It’s been hard to hold things together lately.

It feels good to say, because I haven’t been saying it. I’ve been saying I’m fine, Things are good, Can’t complain, Oh you know just winterish, Doing all right — how bout you?

Everyone’s talking about how “things are looking better” now — pandemic things, economy things, job market things, child care things, spring is around the corner — and I can’t see it.

Oh, I can understand the words and logic. I can appreciate the cautious optimism. But I can’t see it for myself.

Because I can’t feel it for myself.

I’m not feeling better. I’m not feeling like better is on my near horizon.

It makes me feel like a fraud. I am a fake. A façade. I mirror human optimism; I don’t feel it.

It’s been two years that we’ve been in this pandemic. What the heck just happened to us?



Eileen Wiedbrauk

Writer. Geek. Coffee addict. Former editor. MFA grad. Odyssey Workshop alum. Library fangirl. Escaped cubicle minion. Home cook. On a mission for better health.